


A feeling not Programmed

by Tokilock



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Belonging, Hopeful Ending, Other, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soul-Searching, level up! ai learnt self love!, quartet night gets along, smacks whiteboard ITS ABOUT THE BONDING AND CONFIRMATION OF EXISTANCE, uh oh its a roboto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokilock/pseuds/Tokilock
Summary: Could he think of himself as a ‘person’, still?
Relationships: Kotobuki Reiji & Mikaze Ai, QUARTET NIGHT Friendship OT4
Kudos: 29





	A feeling not Programmed

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this art - https://twitter.com/haruhanattenani/status/1201169555021848578 (please dont bug the artist about this fic tysm!!)
> 
> first half was beta-read.. second half... in a sudden creative spark i open my google doc i hadnt in over a month and type it out with all my heart and soul and then collapse on the floor

**Thunk.**

The loud sound of metallic echoing spread through the entire stadium, hushing what was the extremely loud crowd in an instant. What sort of luck did he have, if the fans noticed it before he did. If all those people who came to see him and QUARTET NIGHT, saw that before the rest of his unit did. 

The music track continued to blare but the rest of the unit had stopped singing mere seconds after the crowd went quiet. It was simply one of those situations no one ever prepared for; nor expected to happen.

Ai’s robotic hand lay in the middle of the stage, twitching with the hand movements he should be doing right now.

_ Ah… this could be bad. _

The only fortunate thing… if one could even call it fortunate - was that it had been the final song of the concert, in its final moments. The music faded out, leaving a heavy silence behind. If one closed their eyes, they could definitely hear the scramble of backstage staff, trying to figure out what was going on. Phones had already been pulled from jackets and purses in the audience, with the staff coming down to get the users to put them away. 

Reiji acted before Ai did, putting on his usual happy-go-lucky smile as he hopped-skipped across the stage in a dancer’s manner, picking up the hand which now lay unmoving. “Here, AiAi! Do you need a hand?” He laughed, ushering the owner of the limb to take it back. A few stray laughs could be heard through the crowd.

Coming to his senses, the teal haired man nodded, walking over and taking back his hand, trading it for the microphone in his still connected one. Although, as he got closer, he could tell Reiji was definitely putting up a front. Losing a hand hadn’t meant his system was off-kilter, so he could see the faster heart beat, even more sweat trickling down his forehead. He knew whatever he said next could hurt Reiji more, so he opted for a simple nod, then turning the crowd and bowing, and then escaping off the stage. 

He didn’t even bother hearing what the goodbye sounded like, and by the time he got back into the greenroom, he blacked out anyway.

\---

It was simply impossible to keep the news under wraps. Those in STARISH, with the exception of Natsuki and Syo were surprised too, each having their own reaction to the news of Ai being a robot. They were even surprised that Haruka knew too. Rumours spread all over the internet, soon enough making it to magazines, although getting an interview with QUARTET NIGHT seemed impossible all of a sudden. The other 3 members promised not to talk about the situation to the public just yet. 

People started wondering if there was a real Ai, maybe he was sick and a robot had to replace him - Shining had been one for eccentricities, so it almost seemed plausible. Another was wondering why QUARTET NIGHT had a robot. Were they not strong enough as a three person group? Did they feel threatened now with something inhumane in their unit? Or did they not know? 

They didn’t know.

Ai wasn’t even around to talk to them, as he had gone missing too.

\---

When Ai woke up again, the ceiling looked familiar. It’d been a while since he’d been to such a place. It was the professor’s lab. He felt like a child, for some reason, being brought back from a grand adventure to the place where it all started. 

“Ai, you’re awake-” A familiar voice spoke over the sound of his systems waking up. “Goodness, that really was a big mistake - and I can’t help but feel it’s partially my fault-” The voice kept rambling, trying to remain calm but obviously still filled with worry, and finally Ai turned his attention to the professor whom was pulling cords out of his body, and closing any holes they left behind. “I should have really checked up on you sooner, we’ve gotten ourselves into quite a situation.”

Ai could very easily figure out what that situation was. He’d lost his hand in front of a crowd. An extremely large crowd, and had ultimately ruined the end of the concert. He sort of wished he had his phone on him so he could connect to the internet and see what had happened exactly, but the aftermath would have to be dealt with after his body got back into working order. There was no use in making himself public when there was a possibility his arm could fall off again - or, even worse, his legs collapsed out from underneath him.

Speaking of, it was nice to have both his hands back again. It made him feel complete; a small thing that kept him questioning his existence too harshly. Wiggling his fingers, all he could do was simply watch as the professor wandered around the lab, typing things down on the nearest keyboard or scratching something on a notepad. “Right, Ai…” He finally spoke up, standing next to him as he gently took his previously broken hand in his own. “I fixed the stitching in this section, so such an event can’t happen again. It’s locked into place also, so it needs to be interfered with…” And so on and so forth. It seems a lot had happened to his body in the time he’d been blacked out.

“Sadly though, waterproofing is still an issue…” 

Like he currently cared about that. 

Ai knew his system was listening to everything the professor was saying and storing it in his memory banks; but his brain seemed distracted otherwise. Being an idol was incredibly important to him; and having this sort of incident was… absolutely catastrophic. It could very well damage the reputation of not only himself, but of QUARTET NIGHT too. He wouldn’t know how to react in such a situation, there was no answer he could look up, or video with help to watch. 

“...Ai? Is something bothering you?” 

Upon hearing such a question, the teal haired robot snapped his attention back to the professor. Was he obviously emoting his frustration? It seemed that way since the professor seemed to have picked up on it.

“Yes. Of course something is bothering me.” He wasn’t going to beat around the bush. He wasn’t that type of...person, after all. 

_ Could he think of himself as a ‘person’, still? _

“I do not know the repercussions of such an incident… It is quite vexing, admittedly. I wonder.. Am I really a person? I was beginning to think so, but with what happened...” 

A lull fell over the room, the professor’s eyes gazing towards a door blocked off by piles of books. They both knew what… who, was in there, but it was an unspoken rule that neither of them would address what was hidden behind that door. It was a secret, after all. 

The silence was immediately broken when another door slammed open, revealing Ranmaru of all people standing there. “God, such a pain in the ass to find this place…” He muttered, tossing a bag into Ai’s arms. “Get changed, we’re heading back.”

Ai blinked in confusion, tilting his head to the side. “Back where, exactly?” 

“Really? We’re heading back home.”

It was weird to hear that from Ranmaru of all people, but he did appreciate the gesture, smiling shyly towards his unit-mate. 

Opening the bag, he was glad to see a change of clothes, not really wanting to be sitting on a table wearing only pants any longer. This whole situation made him feel well, like a robot. There was no nice way of putting it. Putting on his own clothes made him feel a little more like Ai Mikaze.

Saying his goodbyes to the Professor, he then proceeded to follow Ranmaru outside of the lab, even more surprised to see… Reiji’s car of all things there. Then again, he didn’t recall Ranmaru actually owning his own car. He glanced out for the owner of said green beetle but; he didn’t seem to be around. 

“Ain’t around - he didn’t want to come.” It was like the bass player had read his mind. 

“He didn’t want to come…” That felt extremely out of character for some reason - but there were occasions where Reiji behaved in a way none of QUARTET NIGHT seemed to be able to figure. Sometimes he needed a break from being the mood maker. He recalled how stressed Reiji had been that night, and figured he could give him a break. It was hard to have a positive mood with everything that was going on.

Getting into the car, he was surprised once again when his phone was tossed casually onto his lap. “You had this too?” “Yeah, figured I’d give it to you when we got into the car.” For some reason he felt like he was being fathered. 

Whilst they sat in silence on the drive back to their shared apartment, Ai finally found himself turning on his phone. Being connected to the internet again was nice, but he didn’t want to see any news articles. He didn’t want to see what things had been written about him, about QUARTET NIGHT. Knowing how gossip magazines functioned, he knew there would be articles calling the unit a hoax for having a robot, or fake, or even untalented. But he knew QUARTET NIGHT was a group of equals - no one existed to outshine another. 

Instead, he turned to look at the messages that were flooding his inbox, ignoring anything that was from unknown numbers or media groups. Instead, he found himself reading a string of messages from Natsuki and Syo. 

> S: ai? We heard what happened where are you?

> S: shining said he wont tell us where you are

> N: ai-chan, come home soon :( :( :( 

> S: its all over the news

> S: we ended up explaining everything to starish

> N: sorry ai-chan.. they were really curious!! 

> N: we all miss you a lot <3 <3

> S: everyone seemed to understand though!! 

> S: we’ll see you soon, yeah?

> N: see you soon ai-chan!! 

There was no point in letting them wait any longer. He might as well put his kouhai’s minds at ease for the time being until he got to see them in person again.

> A: I’m fine, and returning back home now.

> A: I’ll see you soon.

He could already see Natsuki typing something which he knew would be a chain of emojis.

He was right.

\---

The drive wasn’t terribly long; and soon enough the Haruhana duo had managed to return home. It was a little disappointing to not have Reiji greet them; he was used to the brunette doing that. If he had free time and knew one of QUARTET NIGHT was due to come back, he would run all the way to the first floor and greet them - no matter how annoyed it made each member. They’d grown used to this habit he’d picked up. 

So it was disappointing to see no one there. 

After safely parking Reiji’s car, Ranmaru motioned for Ai to wait inside it as he kept a look out for any paparazzi before the two of them then hurried inside. He had noticed the extra security, but kept his mouth shut. Some things were simply better left unmentioned. 

The entire time barely a word was exchanged between the two, although Ai could feel Ranmaru occasionally give out one of his worrying stares, a silent way of asking if everything was okay, which Ai only nodded in return too. 

He was returning home - despite that sinking feeling one gets. His emotional wiring really was incredible. 

\---

“So  **_that’s_ ** where you’ve been.” The duo didn’t even get a proper hello from Camus once they entered the apartment, the blonde sitting there with his usual slightly irritated expression. “For a moment I figured you’d run off too. Didn’t Shining advise us to actually stay indoors for once?” He commented, placing his teacup down on it’s plate.

“I’m home…” A drowned out greeting.

“For real? I ain’t runnin’ away from this whole deal. If anything, it’s  **him** whose runnin’ away from it! Stayin’ in that room for days on end!” Ranmaru was quick to retaliate, the two instantly bickering as the silver haired man pointed angrily towards the door of Reiji’s bedroom.

Ai’s gaze turned towards the door, and he almost wished his legs would actually give out from under him. He couldn’t imagine how Reiji felt right now - so he would find out. Worrying was pointless. He should solve this whole issue right away. He wanted the world to return to normal again.

Or, whatever the definition of it was for QUARTET NIGHT.

Leaving Camus and Ranmaru to whatever they were talking about - it seemed they’d calmed down, actually, and had gotten into a discussion - each looking over to Ai every now and then as he was obviously the topic of conversation; Ai made his way over to Reiji’s bedroom, quietly opening the door.

“Reiji, I’m home.” He spoke, stepping inside. The brunette didn’t even notice him at first, sitting on the couch in his room, scrolling through his phone. There was a sort of, sad and almost apathetic expression on his face, something that would suit Camus or Ai himself much better. He could see from where he was standing Reiji was going through some sort of photo gallery - the images familiar, but after realizing Ai had entered the room he quickly put his phone down, turning his head up to look at him in surprise. His eyes widened, brows frowning a bit, as if he was trying to guess if the person in front of him was there or not, gaze dropping down from his face down towards his hand, which Ai found himself clenching into a fist. 

“AiAi?” 

He looked… tired. 

“Yes?”   
  
As if someone had snapped their fingers, a smile instantly appeared on Reiji’s face, the brunette bouncing up and running over to Ai, wrapping his arms around the taller man in a tight hug. “Thank goodness you’re okay--! Aha- I’ve been so worried!” His whole body was shaking, Ai gently patting his arm to comfort him. Whilst he wasn’t the most emotional supporting person, he knew it’d be best to  _ try _ and comfort Reiji. Although still..

“You haven’t been sleeping, have you? I understand the anxiety such a situation can cause - but I was going to come back to QUARTET NIGHT either way. There was no doubt about it.” He quickly spoke, then nodded to cement his own statement. He was going to return here,  _ absolutely _ . He didn’t want to wake up ever again on that steel table in a room filled with artificial light. Even if Ranmaru and Camus were bickering, and Reiji seemed like he needed time to process his feelings before being that mood maker, this was a place he would return too. The company of QUARTET NIGHT, his unit. A place that never made him question his existence, even if he hadn’t been telling them everything. He didn’t need to think about how he wasn’t human, he was just happy to experience humanity with these people.

Reiji soon pulled himself away from Ai, rubbing his face as if to hold back a bigger emotional display, nodding. “Right, right! I knew AiAi wouldn’t leave us!” He said, smiling, even if his smile did look sad still - he was definitely holding back, mentally preparing himself to get into that mood maker spirit.

“...Although, Ai… I have to ask, why did you keep such a big secret from us?” 

He heard the chattering in the background stop. Seems everyone in this apartment wanted to hear the answer to that question.

“I…” Why was speaking suddenly so difficult? He hadn’t formulated a perfect response to this. No one seemed to be rushing him for an answer, but he could feel the weight of curiosity. It was burning. 

“I simply didn’t want you to have strange ideals of me. I am not human, that is correct - but I don’t want to be thought of that way. I want to be thought of as Ai Mikaze, an idol, a member of QUARTET NIGHT - a person, even. I have decided this.” He didn’t want any ties to what he was  _ modeled _ to be. Not anymore. He had too many experiences that pulled him away from  _ that person _ . He became his own in all of this. Even if the truth was revealed in this most undesirable way; now he was telling them.

“AiAi…” Reiji did end up crying after all, grabbing Ai’s hand and leading him into the living area where Ranmaru and Camus were waiting - both not looking surprised to see Reiji’s waterworks. “No one in this unit would think differently of you, not now, not ever! We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we?” This was suddenly a group conversation.

“Yeah - we all have got weird things about each other, but we’re still a decent group.” Ranmaru spoke up, nodding. 

“We would simply not be QUARTET NIGHT without you. Did you not consider that, Mikaze?” Camus scoffed, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and shoving it in Reiji’s direction in his cold attempt to either comfort him or shut up the sniffling.

“My-chan and RanRan are right--!” Reiji took the handkerchief, wiping his tears away. “Ai Mikaze is a person to us - a very important person! It doesn’t matter that you’re a robot, you’ll always be a human to us in QUARTET NIGHT - aah! I totally forgot to tell you!” He quickly looked to Ranmaru and Camus, as if forewarning them of something preplanned. The two of them looked confused for a moment before nodding, all three of them focused on Ai before then saying at once:

“Welcome home.”

He really did belong here.

\---

There was a media backlash over Ai, but definitely due to Shining’s interference, the whole thing managed to calm down after a month or two, any new articles being removed almost immediately after. Ai’s fanbase still remained strong; and it was suspected QUARTET NIGHT’s whole popularity grew as well. There were always naysayers, but as far as anyone knew - Ai Mikaze wasn’t just a robot, he was an important idol, loved by all, and just as he was loved, he was happy to share that feeling back to everyone in a way that made him human.

**Author's Note:**

> [balloon letting out air sound]  
> thank you for reading.... sorry if anyone is ooc im bad at writing


End file.
